Phone Service Out? Call Customer Service

I have VoIP (Voice over Internet Protocol) phone service from Qwest, a communications giant. My VoIP (Voice over Internet Protocol) modem failed while a power outage. This is the story of my attempt to get it working again.

Internet was working properly, so I tried the Web site. I clicked the “Need help? Click for online chat” button. The following ludicrousness ensued.:

Binky: For more information or to order Qwest Broadband Phone Service, please call 1-866-283-0043.
 You would want to call this number.

Rachel Lindstrom: So how do I get help when the problem I’m contacting Qwest about is that my VoIP Phone service is not working and I don’t have a telephone?
 Maybe I could shout actually loudly?

Description: I need help with my Qwest VoIP telephone service. IT IS NOT WORKING. I HAVE ONLY 2 LIGHTS ON MY QWEST VOIP MODEM. I have no other phone service. Can you please forward this to VoIP tech support so we can begin to debug my nonworking VoIP phone service?

Thank you for your recent e-mail inquiry to Qwest. I apologize for the delay in responding to your e-mail.
 I apologize for your frustration however you must call 1-866-283-0043 for assistance with your VoIP service.

The Times since 2000

David Pogue’s research column has appeared each Thursday in The Times since 2000. Each week, he as well writes the Times e-mail column “From the Desk of David Pogue,” creates a short, funny Web video for NYTimes.com, and posts entries to his Times blog. In his other life, David is an Emmy-winning correspondent for CBS News, a frequent contributor to NPR’s “Morning Edition,” creator of the Missing Manual series of computer books, and father of three.

People carry their phones around in pockets with keys and change. People drop these things, toss them, scrape them. Why on earth don't they get totally scratched up?