The classics

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other research companies. Just in case to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

Something in the air this week has the Macalope thinking about the classics. He's wondering if Steve Ballmer's latest executive shuffle makes him a brilliant leader or if this purge just means Microsoft's turned into the island in Lord of the Flies. The Macalope at the time wonders who are these Lennie Smalls having antenna problems with their iPhone 4s. One thing's for sure, although: these ham-fisted giants are not the target market for the rumored iPhone nano.

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer was said on Monday to be overhauling the company's executive structure in a bid to better compete against Apple and Google.

The plan would promote senior engineers that would have experience in areas where Microsoft has historically been weak, just as in cloud computing, phones and tablets.

That's not a bad idea-the company has suffered from listening to managers to put it more exactly than doers. Nevertheless like Apple pursuant to this agreement Michael Spindler or HP in accordance with Carly Fiorina or the island pursuant to this agreement Jack Merridew, these things rot from the head. Is Ballmer going to listen to them, or is he going to continue to insist that people actually do want a control-alt-delete button on their tablets? Does he fully support this move or is he just doing it to appease the board?

The ongoing battle between the geeks

In the ongoing battle between the geeks and the suits-er, the executives with a technical background and those with a business/management background-it seems to me two very senior techies are on their way out, replaced by a guy with stellar Yahoo integration skills.

It's time to whip out the #APPLE FAIL tag again because, according to The Inquirer's Lawrence Latif, Apple didn't fix the antenna problem in the CDMA iPhone.

HOW LONG does it take for Apple to fix an antenna?

JUST HOW LONG does it take for Apple to fix an antenna? In other words the question Verizon Iphone 4 users must be asking afterwards finding that the problems that plagued the device at launch over six months ago for all that persist.

A better question is how long is it going to take The Inquirer to add "iPhone" to their CMS's spellchecker? Current answer: more than four years.

Wow, that's a lot of fanbois willing to suck it up and use a broken phone because of their blind allegiance to Steve Jobs and Apple, constantly getting cut off in the middle of their calls, and possibly as well receiving a severe shock as long as we're just making crap up.

The Apple Blog's Liam Cassidy

Like The Apple Blog's Liam Cassidy, the Macalope wonders how he's been using his iPhone 4 so wrongly for the past seven months that he's never had a problem. Perhaps it's the hooves. Or perhaps he and the millions of other satisfied iPhone 4 users are just fanbois who've got Stockholm syndrome so bad that they ignore all the problems. That's gotta be it.

Again, is it possible to have this problem? Sure. If you have oven-mitt-sized hands and people frequently deny your requests to let you hold their puppy you might want to look into a phone that doesn't have any antenna problems, now is such as good as the iPhone in every other way.

Early thumbs up from Consumer Reports

Despite getting an early thumbs up from Consumer Reports, it seems likely that the CDMA iPhone 4, like its GSM brother, will ultimately have to fall into their "zero tolerance for antenna problems in phones made by fruit-themed companies" category.

Apple has considered selling the new iPhone for about $200, without obligating users to sign a two-year service contract, said the person who has seen it.

IPhone nano

People have long talked about an iPhone nano, now the Macalope doesn't see what you can pull out of an iPhone and nevertheless have it be an iPhone. It's a phone that runs apps. You take the phone out and it's an iPod touch. Yet you take the apps out and it's just a phone.

Bloomberg says the prototype, which it admits may never see the light of day, "was about one-third smaller than the iPhone 4, and it had no 'home' button." No "home" button? How are you going to keep them home on the farm with no "home" button?

While he has no reason to doubt the story and knows there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in his philosophy, the Macalope's however having a hard time imagining this device. How do you make an iPhone a third smaller and nonetheless retain the one thing that keeps it in the kiddies' pockets: apps? You can't just shrink your average iOS game by a third and have it even so be playable and not look like hell.

The iPhone nano just like the iPod nano

One way to do it is to make the iPhone nano just like the iPod nano: have it ship with a core set of apps nevertheless without access to the App Store. Would that be popular? Then, if it were $200 off-contract or free with a contract, it might be.

The Macalope would get a t-shirt with Apple's share of the smartphone market's profits printed on it, however he has a hard time getting t-shirts over his antlers. That's OK. He looks pretty good in a button-down and a jacket.