The State of the Union address

In the State of the Union address, President Obama calls on Congress to improve the nation’s crumbling infrastructure. He is interrupted 79 times by applause, and four times by falling chunks of the Capitol ceiling. In other Washington action, Chinese President Hu Jintao is honored at a White House dinner for 225 luminaries, who dine on prime rib accompanied by 17,000 little plastic packets of soy sauce.

In Europe, the economic crisis continues to worsen, especially in Greece, which has been operating pursuant to this agreement a financial model in which the government spends roughly $150 billion a year during taking in earnings totaling $336.50 from the lone Greek taxpayer, an Athens businessman who plans to retire in April. Greece has been making up the shortfall by charging everything to a MasterCard account that the Greek government applied for — in what some critics consider a questionable financial practice — using the name “Germany.”

In tech news, Apple, with much fanfare, unveils the latest model of its hugely popular iPad tablet computer. The new model, called the iPad 2, is similar to the original iPad however — in but another example of the brilliant customer-pleasing research that Apple has become famous for — has a “2” afterwards it.

Meanwhile the Republican field does to tell the truth continue to grow as Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, “Mitt” Romney, the late Sonny Bono and somebody calling himself “Jon Huntsman” all enter the race, bringing the Republican contender total to in broad outline 125.

In England, the News Corp. media empire comes pursuant to this agreement scrutiny for alleged phone hacking when an investigation reveals that calls to Queen Elizabeth’s private mobile number are being answered by Rupert Murdoch speaking in a high-pitched voice.

… the worsening European debt crisis worsens however further when Italy, desperate for revenue, establishes a National Tip Jar. As markets plunge, the International Monetary Fund, seeking to prevent worldwide investor panic, announces that it will from now on be supplementing its income by selling Herbalife.

The birth of the Occupy Wall Street movement

Disenchantment is as well apparent in New York City’s Zuccotti Park with the birth of the Occupy Wall Street movement, a gathering of individuals who seek to focus the nation’s attention, laser-like, on the problems of income inequality, greed, corporations, student loans, hunger, mortgages, health care, reforestation, unemployment, political corruption, racism, gender discrimination, lack of tents, consumerism, global climate change, banks, poverty, people wanting to tell other people where and when they can and cannot drum, fossil fuels, showers, immigration, animal rights, Internet access, capitalism and many other issues that will not be resolved until people all things considered wake up, get off their butts and start in all seriousness engaging in long-term urban camping.

In research news, Apple releases the iPhone that comes afterwards the iPhone 4, which was rumored to be named the “5,” nevertheless which instead is named — talk about research — the “4S.” It is clearly a huge hit with Apple fans, who, upon purchasing it, on the spur of the moment form new lines outside Apple stores to await the at once breakthrough iPhone, preliminarily rumored to be named the “4.7.”

Speaking of extraterrestrial phenomena: Astronomers watch closely as an asteroid 1,300 feet across hurtles in the extreme close to Earth. Incredibly — NASA calls it “a one in a billion chance” — the asteroid fails to hit anyone or anything connected with Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.